So my marriage to my husband was quite extraordinary. Actually it's the love that is extraordinary. I fell in love with him when I was 22. I was in relationships before and somehow i could never make any of them last. Either the fault was mine or the other person's and before i knew, it would be over. But this one wasn't that. I started at zero-expectations, believing that if it is meant to be, it will be. We went strong for 3 years. For the world outside, we were the "golden couple", people would ask me "how we did it", and i would wonder what they are talking about, because I had to do nothing. My husband would make it easy, he was the calmer, the more level-headed one, and times flies when you are happy. Then, like the mid-section of any Bharjatiya Drama, complacence & unease set in, the worst wasn't far away. I moved to a big city and I moved away from him. Although he was out of sight, he was never out of my mind. Even when I had moved on, he was present, in my thoughts, and dreams, and intuitions and decisions and memories. In my mind, he lived like a living memory, something that wakes up with you, stays with you all day and sleeps with you too. At times of trouble I would ask "What would he do", knowing that he is healthy and happy, gave me calm and peace. Knowing that I could run to him for help gave me a sense of assurance and belonging. And gradually i realized, there are many kinds of love, but this love was a grand one, something that will never leave you and will leave you with nothing but regret if you don't hold onto it ; because in the back of your mind you know he is THE one.
So in a very cheesy way, I had to lose myself, in doubt and loneliness and unsettling life-choices, to rediscover the shimmering glow of a love & hope that I had to win back.
And before it was too late, I had to make amends... I couldn't lose him again and just like that, I proposed the idea of marriage. And yes, he obliged, and I knew I was home, for me, he was my home! There is a thin line between ordinary and the extra-ordinary, and for me that was a 150km bus ride.
Maybe he could have been happier with someone else, maybe some one else is his soul-mate and maybe he deserves better. But for me, he was the best and I am going to selfishly hold on to that.
So in a very cheesy way, I had to lose myself, in doubt and loneliness and unsettling life-choices, to rediscover the shimmering glow of a love & hope that I had to win back.
And before it was too late, I had to make amends... I couldn't lose him again and just like that, I proposed the idea of marriage. And yes, he obliged, and I knew I was home, for me, he was my home! There is a thin line between ordinary and the extra-ordinary, and for me that was a 150km bus ride.
Lovely piece of wiriting Sor. Loved two parts the most - "I knew I was home" and "Maybe some one else is his soul-mate and may be he deserves better. But for me, he was the best and I am going to selfishly hold on to that." He was? He is the best for u! :)
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