Goa-n with the wind!

As I am growing older, I am realising that there is no point playing it safe because at the end of the finish line, your FDs arent getting converted into Furla bags or solitaires. The only thing that is worth anything in this life is an adventure, the rush of doing something for the first time, the memories of doing something for the millionth time and each one of those times being unique. It is one life afterall, if you're not going to be bold, you're going to miss out on a lot of life. My Goa trip this time was different, understandably, when i went there with this mindset. To enjoy without caring about what is safe - it's funny how much your mind opens up when you are willing to blur the lines.

Well the adventure for Goa started before we even got there -- with a train at 8.40 from Dadar, we were stuck on Villa Parle WEH, trapped inside a bumper to bumper with zero hopes of getting anywhere. Obviously we decided to pick up our bags and make a run for it - literally to the station, catch the fastest local and somehow make it to the train. The adrenaline was pumping and I knew we were in for a treat. This was a couples trip, but the train journey was odd-numbered - 3 old friends getting together to catch up on life.

We reached Margao pretty early in the morning and started our journey down south. Our plan was to spend 2 nights on Varca beach and 1 night at Anjuna. We knew we were going to a budget resort but we ended up here. 

Tucked away on the secluded Varca beach is this resort. Clean, cozy and loaded with happy vibes, Majestic Beach Comforts was nothing what I had imagined. With a small grassy patch in front, it made me want to buy my own land and build my own little cottage. It's the thoughtfulness of the place that really made a mark with me. They had given a cloth-hanger to dry your wet sandy clothes. The Pool was a bonus!

I wanted to read about Varca before leaving but ironically nobody had much to say about it. "just another beach" was my biggest takeaway. Nothing prepared me for the pretty rich marine life we spotted - schools of starfish, crabs, sting-rays. The solitude became so addictive that everywhere I went, I sought it. 

I think as you grow older, you start leaving behind the noise and go for the quiet. Varca made me realize that. For a forever-loud person like me, I just reveled in the peace that it offered.

Among the many things we did, riding up to my husband's old home-stay back in his Lila Training days was a highlight. Memory lane, here we are :)

Another big find was the Mobor Beach and spotting the Milky Way. At a time when it was pouring silly along the coast, we found a cloudless sky, a light-less beach - & we gathered up to tell ghost stories. Heaven!

Food is always the cherry-on-top of every traveler's story. This time I have decided to leave the epicurean tales for another rainy day. But one incident I do wish to report is a terrible stroke of luck and bad timing that resulted in a group of 8 educated and informed souls like us to get straight-up duped by this reputed shack-cum-restaurant called Kentuckee (remember the name). Situated on Colva beach, although with no sea-view, this place was the only one within miles to be serving booze on 2nd Oct. Needless to say we made a beeline to this smoke and beer-bellied-reveler infested joint with a very hungry tummy. The crafty (we know now) elderly waiter suggested the seafood platter which wasn't on the menu card and none of us had the good sense of asking  the cost of it. Although the food was otherworldly, the price we paid for it was too - the total bill of 9700 INR. The platter itself costed 7000 since all the constituents were priced "as per catch". We checked platter prices having the same old crabs and lobsters elsewhere and nowhere did we see it exceed 5K. So people, stay away from such foolishness and always ask for the price before you order something out of the menu card. 

However it didn't take away from the Sunset we watched later and splashed salty water on each other. 

It's funny how Goa is always associated with raving and partying all night, with food and the sea, but very little do we ever talk about the houses of Goa. Because that is typical of it too. No-where will you find such diverse selection of architecture style. From Mughal to Portuguese, it more or less covers the full spectrum of India's colonial history. What caught my eyes this time was the Portuguese-styled Bunglow mansions, you know with the shady big balconies in front called "balcaos". It takes you way way back into a time when there were no modular kitchens or in-floor heating systems, simpler times. As I sat on the back seat of our puny little motorbike, I couldn't help but marvel at these sights that more often than not get lost in the daze of a boozy head. 

Couldn't help but wonder about the people living inside those home -- "Are they stuck in time too? What would they do they had to live a life like ours, local trains, cold dabbas for lunch, deadlines? Are they happy? Do they wish a different life?"

Wanna know how we did Varca to Anjuna? 1000 bucks for 2 bikes for 24 hours. Bad deal? Not so much. 

The highlight of our brief halt in Panjim was an ethereal lunch at this little Goan cafe called Viva Panjim. From the Mackarel rechado to the pork sausage preparations to even the Vindaloo - etched in memory forever. Zomato says 800 for 2, I say 2000 for 6. What a bonus!

North Goa isn't North Goa this time of the year -- it's more like a slightly louder and brighter south Goa. But we were blessed with great cloudy weather and a rampaging sea which made morning teas and walks more memorable than ever. 

The fearless adventurer in me didn't let the ominous clouds or dubious faces come in the way of exploring. Thank Goodness!

Lastly this trip was about old friendships and new - to rediscover them in a whole new light, and to cherish them in a whole new way. 

From doubt to discovery : The journey so far

It's been a while since I have written - 7 months to be exact. It's not lethargy or disinterest, but an unyielding stream of events- some great, some good and some very ugly.

Well as they say, start with the good. It's probably old news for some, but I shifted back to Mumbai, this time with husband in tow. My new home is no longer under a sink. It's a place , little bigger than a shoebox in an upscale locale in Andheri west. Probably the reason we're paying through our noses and every other crevice in the body for it. Someone recently asked me if my marriage had changed since I moved, well it has, drastically. It feels "married" now.. The meaning of "partnership" and "bonding" and "patience" and "facepalm" is all redefined now. Not that living with in-laws isn't great, but there is some magic in THIS. Everything takes on a new meaning, your attitude and behavior towards the guy/girl you love changes when you know that no one is watching. Funnily you also become independent and more-dependent-on-each-other at the same time. So yes, highly recommended to live alone/separately for the first few years after getting married. Coming back to current topics, I went back to advertising, against much of my own wanting. I knew I was going back to horrendous work-hours and unreasonable work-load but what was in store was much much worse. For the first time in my life, I doubted myself at a job I knew I was good at. I obviously didn't do enough research before accepting the job or the clients handed to me and I was given the raw end of a raw deal. A broken team was handed over to me assuming I am some Magic GodMother, who can just swoosh her wand and make all the troubles go away. I also had the grave misfortune of meeting probably the most vile, blame-slinging bitch in the business (read client). Being good at one's job basically gives her the license to be an intolerant, oppressive bully - something I wasn't going to take. Add to that, an unmotivated junior, a half-wit AF boss and a too-cool-for-school superboss.  Losing my nerve and mind were the first things to happen, what followed was a flawless loss of self-doubt and all motivation to wake up in the morning. The first casualty of this kind of professional abuse is work-life balance and mine went for a toss. For 2 months, I was living with a stranger whom I would meet at an ungodly hour (if i were lucky that night). I would leave, before he was up. At this point, at the end of the 2 months, for the first time, I felt my marriage being tested and after much dialogue I decided to quit. At a time when you see your world slipping away, I had one person telling me "Dont worry, i'll take care of everything else. Doesn't matter if you don't get a job." I think that night, i fell in love with him all over again. I think that's what a marriage is - underneath all the Instagram and PDA and sweetnothings and frivolous fights - its knowing that now, in a planet populated by a trillion people, you have 1 person you can blindly, unconditionally count on. And quit, I did.. and obviously a lot of dirt hit the fan. But I was not going to hold back either. After making my peace, and also giving a piece of my mind, I moved on not knowing how two of us would survive rent and Mumbai on a single salary. But fortune favors the brave and that's what I was I guess. So the very next day I got a call from a tech start-up that was looking for a digital writer and manager for their new app. Voila! Wonderful how things fall into places where you wanted them, not at that time but when you are ready. Getting to do a job you love comes to very few and I feel lucky today to be sitting here and writing this. In a way I am glad things happened the way they did because today I appreciate a good opportunity more than I ever did. It's been 2 months here and it is (knock on wood) the life I started out to live in Mumbai - simple, risky with handful of drama and a pinch of magic. 

Find your ROOM

Its been a while since I have cried at the movies. After you have been exposed to emotional heavyweights like "Notebook", "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and my favorite sinking ship, "Up" (note the irony), I thought it would take a lot from a movie to get me going for the tissue box. All that changed when I sat down to watch ROOM. The story is simple - a mother and son, living in confinement for 5 years, finds a way to escape and then laboriously attempts to return to their normal lives. But if you really try to understand the movie, you discover this discomforting and ultimately very rewarding tearjerker, teaches the true essence of happiness. Happiness isn't what the world defines, or what society outlines or what popular culture throws in your face - you can live in a 4x4 room and be perfectly happy. All you need to do is find your center. In the case of the mother "Maa", it was her son, Jack. Although she plotted to escape for her son's sake, she was actually perfectly happy living in that room with Jack, with whatever limited resources her captor provided. It was once she found freedom and "normalcy", she was overwhelmed with expectations and norms, not knowing that the reason of her happiness hadn't changed one bit. That is what we do to ourselves also, isn't it? In a world of a billion people, we actually need just a handful, to make us perfectly happy.. and knowing that full well, we pile on expectations, rules, status quo and what not - just because it feels normal and almost obligatory - not realizing the reason for our happiness hasn't changed. The idea is to feel fully and wholly content sitting at Marine Drive, drinking cutting chai, crunching down peanuts and being at peace... and not sitting across each other at the latest "Instagram-approved" eatery, heads sunk into your smartphones, having empty conversations. The idea is choosing your happy place and deciding to stay there even if it doesn't fit the norm. 

So after shedding a bucket-full of tears and distilling, "You're just Maa", it dawned upon me that you don't have to take on relationships with a fear of heading for disappointments. You don't need to fit your relationships into some cookie cutter to fetch approvals. You just need to find your ROOM, where you are content.. and stay there!